Rule #1 when calling tech support:

Don't get pissy with your advisor. We are trying to help. When we tell you that something can't be done, it can't be done.

I'm sorry that I can't connect with the last person that you spoke with, but if you'll calm down, take deep breath, and realize that it's not 'OMG THE END OF THE WORLDZ', more than likely, I can help you with your issue, or get you to someone who can.

Rule #2

We can't change company policies to suit you. I'm sorry that we don't have free phone support. You do have other options available to you, if you would take the time to do some research. If you don't know much about computers, either learn, or return your device.

Rule #3

BE NICE. Tech support is not made up of robots. There are actual people on the other end of the phone. We have feelings too and don't like to be yelled at. Thankfully I'm not as squishy as I used to be and I don't let stupid things you say bother me. I leave it at work.

Rule #4

Listen to what we tell you. If you don't understand something, please ask for clarification. Sometimes we forget that not everyone understands when we say something, and start speaking in techie babble.

Rule #5

Be as specific as you can. Don't say 'My 'device' is broke'. There could be a variety of issues going on. Don't get upset when we start probing to find out exactly what happened. If the device won't turn on, say it won't turn on. If you've already tried to troubleshoot a bit, let us know what you've done so that we don't have you do it all over again.

Rule #6

If you get a customer satisfaction survey, send it back in. If you were satisfied, say you're satisfied. Don't be a douche nozzle and send back negative feedback just because you want to.